Wednesday, January 30, 2013

51 Ways to Lose Your Eye (Dumb Ways to Die Parody)

Dear reader,
You are probably questioning me about the title of this post... Yes, I am aware that this is a teenage blog and yes, I know this is completely random. Just bare with me.

So, last semester, I had the weirdest conversations in Peer Leadership (still do, in fact.) One of our conversations were... ways to lose an eye. It was just random and funny at first but then things got serious when I started writing them down.

Just to let you know, this was a group effort but Chito (a friend/acquaintance) thought up most of these... So majority of these ideas belong to him. So first, I'm going to show you the parody lyrics to "Dumb Ways to Die" and then the list with my comments.

Please note: The list and song is just for fun. We are NOT encouraging you to do these stupid things. Petpet's Room/Speedy Wing's Hideout is not responsible for any damage or eye losses.

Dumb Ways to Die by Tangerine Kitty

Ways to Lose Your Eye
Parody lyrics arrangement by Petpet Wing
Use a pen while you draw
Take a sip and miss the straw
Comb out your hair
Dig into a snake's lair

Ways to lose your eye, so many ways to lose your eye, ways to lose your eye-i-i-ie. So many ways to lose your eye.

Eat some food with a fork
Stand in front of some fireworks
Spray some mouth freshener
Let your friend poke you with their finger

Ways to lose your eye, so many ways to lose your eye, ways to lose your eye-i-i-ie. So many ways to lose your eye.

Superglue your eye until it's shut
Giving yourself a buzz cut
Play with a little spring
Hitting a light pole until it goes "ding."

Ways to lose your eye, so many ways to lose your eye, ways to lose your eye-i-i-ie. So many ways to lose your eye.

Pull up a sleeping bag and miss the zipper
Watch a fish slap you with its flipper
Have a blind operation
Put up a frame and it drops on your face
Get your eyebrow pierced
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly 

Ways to lose your eye
Ways to lose your eye
Ways to lose your eye-i-i-ie
So many ways
Sos many ways to lose your eye

"Don't be stupid. A message from Protecting Smart"

The list:

  1. Sewing; Strange but seems realistic
  2. Poking with finger
  3. Headdesking on pencil; Perfect aim?
  4. Blind operation; Get that surgeon out of there!
  5. Needle
  6. Pulling up a sleeping bag and zipper; "Hey my zipper's stu-" The zipper pulls up to eye.
  7. Drinking out of straw and missing mouth; Work on your aim... Try your mouth, not your eye.
  8. Playing with a spring
  9. Giving a swirly; That's one heck of a swirly!
  10. Playing video games; Wii... I'm guessing?
  11. Orthodontist misses the mouth; I can actually see this happen
  12. Combing your hair
  13. Crying; I'm not sure how this works...
  14. Nail gun accident; Stupid person... really
  15. Putting up a picture frame on the ceiling and it drops
  16. Getting eyebrow pierce; ...Don't get your eyebrows pierced. O_O
  17. Spraying Axe (as in the body spray) to face
  18. Machete
  19. Snake bites eye
  20. Fish slaps face
  21. Playing with nunchucks; Ninja... not.
  22. Building a house and collapses; What the... How does this work again?
  23. Playing with bubbles; My bubbles! (Not sure how you can lose an entire eye though.)
  24. Paintball
  25. Santa's mad at you; "He sees you when you are sleeping..." You were being so sassy, you made Santa Claus angry? I do not want to see an angry Santa. Poor kid.
  26. Umbrella accident (the pointy part of an umbrella); Reminds me of an anime...
  27. Flying a remote helicopter
  28. Firework; Stupidity!
  29. Splatter paint
  30. Mouth spray miss; Again... Work on your aim.
  31. Buzzer cut accident; Get that barber/salonist out of there!
  32. Acorn falling; Brand new game... "Angry SQUIRRELS"?
  33. Bird poop falling
  34. A sucker (lollipop) into eye; Work. On. Aim.
  35. Unicorn attack; Did you deserve it...? Probably.
  36. Narwhal attack
  37. Bug flying into eye
  38. Lightning strikes; Not sure how it gets your eye ONLY.
  39. Lamp post falling on face; Crazy... but you never know.
  40. Crab accident
  41. Skydiving; Don't know how this works
  42. Guitar string slaps face
  43. Bird egg falls on face
  44. Slingshot set back; Stupidity!
  45. Shaving
  46. Sticking head into ground; Work on your aim?... Why would you be down there, anyways?
  47. Bird peaking eye; ANGRY BIRDS!
  48. Sawing and part of wood hits eye
  49. Icicle falls
  50. Button from clothing flies at eye; Cartoons all over again.
  51. Mining and the ax hits your eye; Why is there an ax in your eye and why are you mining!? (No, this is not Minecraft.)
So, that's all of them!
We probably could think of tons of more insane ones but... this is all we got to. Have a crazy way to lose your eye or have a few favorites? Comment below!

"Don't be stupid."

P.S. If someone will sing this and post it on YouTube then comment with the link... You are amazing and I will do a few photo requests just for you. =) (You should check here frequently though.)


  1. I've had a guitar string hit my face before... XD But wow, a MACHETE or an AX? So awesome, girl... WOW. heh heh.. I want a eyebrow piercing like Amy Lee, so... *cross fingers* Hope it does not make me lose my eye!! .O.


Have something to say about the post? Comment and let me know! We always love to hear some feedback!

Singing Hatsune Miku